to be precise, it's thursday, december 31st, 2009. 2:19am.
it's the day i woke up,
drunk,
in pain,
completely disorientated.
i really don't know when i got up, or what i did during the day, i don't remember anything.
all i can remember is blur.
bottles, glasses, laughs, driving [i drove!], cigarette smoke all the fucking time,
even blood at some point [i think tina hurt her knee or something].
i haven't even saw all the photos although i was so excited to see them that night.
tina and i drank that night like we did in elementary school, completely uncontrolled,
totally focused on one specific bottle.
long john, mister, what did you do to me?
i wrote a letter that night.
to the other me.
and i wrote "today, i found the best place in the whole world. i won't be coming back
for a long, long time. the real me, whom i'm writing to, is here. but the other one,
is somewhere where nobody can ever be. it's not some kind of peaceful place,
like an utopia or something. oh, it's nothing like that. that place is rather imperfect,
full of gloomy people and life there is pretty hard. but the other me loves that place,
because it's more realistic than this world here. here it's boring.
you can always assume what other person thinks, feels, or wants. you can always solve the problem, only if you want to. it's always the matter of your decision. in "best place"
it depends. there are only coincidences. which can be both funny and interesting at the same time. always.
i'm really hoping you'll be okay in your world because people there need you,
and i know that,
but i'm allright here, so don't expect me anytime soon."
and then we drank one more up.
tina felt my emotion, she understood that trip, like she always did.
but we didn't talk about it.
and i'm glad.
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